5/28/2015
Ben: mom, can I have a new butt? Mine has a crack in it! 
OMG! Where does he come up with this?!?

04/24/2012
Maddie passed gas: "What was that?!? Oh that was me!"
So eloquent. Such a little lady.

4/18/2015

My children are so weird.... especially the boy.

Ben was trying to touch his eye with his tongue and I said to start with the nose because it's closer and he tried to touch his nose to his eye...

Ben: Mommy, I hear the Wonder Pets song.

Mommmy: But there isn't music playing, where do you hear it?

Ben: In my ears.

Mommy: You mean in your head?

Ben: Yes, in my ears.

Mom: Don't you want to wear your mask trick-or-treating?

Ben: No, my mask is tired.

Baby Bears

Maddie: Mommy I have 2 bears. One is in the cage but this one (in her hand) is a cry baby. I had to return tge mommy and daddy to the pet store.

She is too cute and too serious...

Maddie: We are building a nest for eggs. I pooped them out.

Maddie: I hurt my bones. Bones are made of plastic. Right?

Ben: Are we staying in a tent?
Mommy: No we are staying in a hotel.
Ben: But that is where the devil lives.
Mommy: ????
Ben: The devil lives in hell.
Mommy: No, HOTEL.

Ben: I don't like peanuts!

Why?

Ben: Because they are for elephants!

Ben

I can't do it, I am a little-up and you are a grown-up.

"Weird looking trees" and "hay houses" according to Ben and Maddie

From Maddie

While talking to a friends mom:
Me: This is Janet's mom
Maddie: Are you are a grandma? You are old, you are going to die.

After running through a torrential downpour into the Y Ben says: "I did NOT see that coming!!"

Maddie: Can we go to the North Pole to see Santa?

Mommy: No sweetie, it is too cold and too far.

Maddie: But I like cold and far. Its my favorite!

Mom: Do you want eggs?

Maddie: Ew, that's gross! Birdies live in eggs!

Ben: what letter comes after h?

Mom: I

Ben: Good job!!

I have a game: if you clap you loose, of you smell your feet you win. Its calles Smell My Feet

Maddie: I had a silly dream last night.

Ben: Was is about dragon crabs?

Maddie: Yes.

Ben: Did you take his underpants?

Maddie: No, he turned around and I spanked him!

From Maddie:

My butt isn't working. The poop isn't coming out!