Ben's theory on cooking waffles: The toaster eats the waffles, then throws them up.

Oh the joys of raising a boy...

Ben: Mommy, why do you have dirt on your eyes?

Mommy: It isn't dirt, it is make up.

Ben: What is make up?

You can tell how often I wear make up...

He also recoiled when I tried to give him a kiss with the make up on.

We have a lot of fog this morning. Ben walked out of the house this morning waving his game around to clear the fog!

Mom: What movie is R2D2 from?

Ben: Star Whores!

Mom: Don't you want to wear your mask trick-or-treating?

Ben: No, my mask is tired.

Ben: Mom, I need to go to the eye doctor.
Mom: Why honey?
Ben: I need a new eyeball.

Because of some car trouble, my cousin Todd had to drive Ben home from the lake while Maddie and I rode in a different car. Now keep in mind that Todd is part Native American and Ben is blonde hair, blue eyes. When they stopped at a rest stop for a potty break, Todd took Ben into the restroom:

Ben (in a pathetic voice): I want my daddy.

Todd (in a panic voice): We are on our way home to see Daddy, your mom is right behind us!

Other men just looked at Todd with a curious look....