From Maddie

While talking to a friends mom:
Me: This is Janet's mom
Maddie: Are you are a grandma? You are old, you are going to die.

After running through a torrential downpour into the Y Ben says: "I did NOT see that coming!!"

Maddie: Can we go to the North Pole to see Santa?

Mommy: No sweetie, it is too cold and too far.

Maddie: But I like cold and far. Its my favorite!

Mom: Do you want eggs?

Maddie: Ew, that's gross! Birdies live in eggs!

Ben: what letter comes after h?

Mom: I

Ben: Good job!!

I have a game: if you clap you loose, of you smell your feet you win. Its calles Smell My Feet

Maddie: I had a silly dream last night.

Ben: Was is about dragon crabs?

Maddie: Yes.

Ben: Did you take his underpants?

Maddie: No, he turned around and I spanked him!

From Maddie:

My butt isn't working. The poop isn't coming out!

While trying to explain Kesha's song "Blow" and blowing the roof off, Ben says: "But dinosaurs eat roofs off."

Ben's nose was peeling from a slight sun burn. As I was putting some lotion on his face he asked me if I could see his bones! :)

Ben: I was swimming! I opened my eye under the water!
Mom: How did that feel?
Ben: I saw feet! And floats!

Ben: Mommy, I hear the Wonder Pets song.

Mommmy: But there isn't music playing, where do you hear it?

Ben: In my ears.

Mommy: You mean in your head?

Ben: Yes, in my ears.

(During a thunderstorm)

Mom: What would you like, the train or the plane?

Ben: The train because it is hailing.

...I don't see the logic. Can anyone help me?

Ben talking to Maddie: "I am awesome. You are pretty but I am awesome."

After having a big bowl of mac & cheese put in front of him Ben says "That's a lucky man!"

Ben: This is clothes. This is what I am going to marry the princess in.

Mommy: You are going to marry the princess in your McQueen garage shirt?

Ben: Yes.

"Say cheese" - He is pretending it is a camera.
The funniest part of this is besides the fact he is holding a block of cheese? He has no idea how ironic it is.

Ben's theory on cooking waffles: The toaster eats the waffles, then throws them up.

Oh the joys of raising a boy...

Ben: Mommy, why do you have dirt on your eyes?

Mommy: It isn't dirt, it is make up.

Ben: What is make up?

You can tell how often I wear make up...

He also recoiled when I tried to give him a kiss with the make up on.

We have a lot of fog this morning. Ben walked out of the house this morning waving his game around to clear the fog!

Mom: What movie is R2D2 from?

Ben: Star Whores!